Close

BQI Humor: Congress vs. Ebola

BQI Editor’s Note

I have a friend who has a great sense of humor. He often shares his, wit with an email group of friends to which I’m honored to be a part of. The other day he shared the following with us. As is always the case, he had me rolling on the floor so I decided to share this with friends of BQI.  Enjoy!

WARNING:   My friend can sometimes be rather colorful so I wanted to warn you in advance just in case your sensitivity meter is turned up.

Congress vs. Ebola

Hello all

I heard on the radio today that Congress is less popular than colonoscopies, but more popular than the Ebola virus.

I decided to check into this because I think it might be another case where the “low information voters” are not being fair to Ebola.

According to the WHO, 1545 people died from Ebola between 1976 and 2011.  Ted Kennedy’s driving record may be responsible for more deaths than that.  We will never know for sure since Ted Kennedy’s driving record is probably kept in the same place as Obama’s college transcript.

Ebola may eat all of your internal organs; in that way it is very similar to Obamacare.  But it does not make you pay for the privilege.

Since Ebola was discovered in 1976, there has not been a single recorded case, or even the allegation, of Ebola having sex with an intern.

Unlike Jesse Jackson Jr., Ebola has never been accused of taking a bribe nor has it spent any time locked up in a loony bin.

Pelosi said we had to pass Obamacare to find out that it eats your flesh.  Ebola does not do that.  It freely advertises that it will eat your flesh.

Ebola does not spy on you with unmanned drones.  It does not try to take your guns.  It does not enslave every man, woman and child in the country with $174,000 in debt.

Ebola pretty much leaves you alone unless you go to where it is and disturb it.  Congress seeks us out and if we try to hide from them, they send armed men after us.

Ebola is probably not a great neighbor to have.  But would you want to live next door to Barney Frank?  Just the noise from his gay lover running that who-who-hotel would be enough to keep you awake every night.

Ebola does not have a strange hair style like James Traficant.  It does not have a God-awful screechy voice like Maxine Waters.  It does not have great big googely eyes like Nancy Pelosi and it does not use Botox.

Ebola is not Alan Grayson.  Just that one fact alone should be enough to convince you that Ebola is WAY better than Congress.

What do you think?

POST SCRIPT

One of our friends responded to the initial email with the following:

As I understand the virus, Ebola attacks the victims internal organs, including the brain and intestines, essentially liquefying them while causing what amounts to a full body stroke resulting from blood clots.  The victim finally bleeds out internally vomiting copious amounts of blood and venting blood mixed with intestinal lining from the anus.

From the above description it should be obvious that any differences between Ebola and the Congress are purely superficial.

Mr. D.